Introduction: Hello! Project’s Central Mystery

For ages, it has defied explanation, piggybacking on one group name after another. It waits, announcing its presence in a subtle yet forceful fashion, catching the eye with its unexpected existence yet never explaining its purpose. This elusive typographical flourish is none other than the ideographic full stop (。) at the end of several Hello! Project group names: モーニング娘。 (Morning Musume。), ココナッツ娘。 (Coconuts Musume。), カントリー娘。 (Country Musume。), アイスクリー娘。 (Ice Creamusume。), ミニモニ。 (Mini Moni。), エコモニ。 (Eco Moni。)—but interestingly, not プッチモニ (Pucchi Moni), a puzzle that we may be able to solve shortly. Unlike the names that precede it, this hardy symbol has proven immune to transformations like romanization: while “モーニング娘” can be written “MORNING MUSUME” in official documents (often, but not always, in all caps), the stop itself is never replaced by its Latin counterpart (.). There is something intrinsic to the ideographic full stop, then, that would be lost in translation. But what is it? As a distinguishing feature of the flagship group’s name since the very beginning, this little circular symbol lies at the heart of the Hello! Project enterprise, and understanding its true meaning may very well be the key to unlocking H!P’s greatest mysteries.

Perhaps it is a simple matter of topology. The ideographic and Latin full stops can be viewed as essentially a zero-dimensional point and a one-dimensional circle, respectively. Since they are represented in two dimensions on the page, however, we can also consider them to be projections of two-dimensional objects in a three-dimensional space (the page itself is a two-dimensional Euclidean plane, so we must go to higher dimensions to have other types of two-dimensional objects). From this perspective, the ideographic full stop is homeomorphic to a 1-torus, while its Latin counterpart is homeomorphic to a sphere. These are distinct homeomorphism classes since there is no continuous deformation from one to the other, just as there is no way to continuously deform a donut into a ball.

But of course this does not explain the relevance of the full stop to Hello! Project. One important characteristic of the full stop is that it appears in the names of groups, so it is inextricably linked to H!P’s concept of a group. We may therefore be able to come to a fuller understanding of H!P by studying the structure of its constituent groups.

The term group also has a mathematical meaning, of course, and while on the surface the two meanings may seem disparate and unrelated, an in-depth analysis from a group-theoretic standpoint does yield a surprising number of coincidences, suggesting that H!P groups do have inherent mathematical structure worth taking a closer look at, whether or not this is the intention of producer Tsunku♂ et al. We may be able to gain insight into the nature of Hello! Project by viewing its groups in mathematical terms, and using group theory as a tool to aid our understanding.

The Basics of Groups

(See also Wikipedia’s article on elementary group theory, which may be a more useful intro to group theory.)

The mathematical discipline of group theory, a part of abstract algebra, examines the algebraic structures called groups. Groups are a central concept in algebra and other areas of mathematics, and have also found applications to physics, chemistry, computer science, and linguistics, among other fields.

Definition: A group consists of a set of objects along with a binary operator that can be applied to any two objects in the set. We can denote the set as G and the operator as ×, which for explanatory purposes we’ll call “multiplication” in a general sense, though numerical multiplication is only one example of a binary operator. Furthermore, the four group axioms must hold:

• Closure: For all a, b in G, a × b is also in G. (The result of multiplying any two elements in the set produces an element in the set.)
• Associativity: For all a, b, c in G, (a × b) × c = a × (b × c). (When there is more than one multiplication, it doesn’t matter which pair gets multiplied first—the result is the same.)
• Identity: There exists an element e in G such that for all a in G, a × e = e × a = a. (There is an element that can be multiplied with any element, in either order, without changing it.)
• Inverse: For each a in G, there exists an element b in G such that a × b = b × a = e. (Every element can be multiplied with some other element, in either order, to produce the identity.)

If a set and a binary operator defined on the set meet these conditions, then they form a group. We can specify further restrictions to define particular types of groups. For example, we can add commutativity to define the notion of an abelian group:

• Commutativity: For all a, b in G, a × b = b × a. (The order in which you multiply elements doesn’t matter.)

One example of a group (which also happens to be abelian) is the set of real numbers, R, under addition. (Note that here the group operator is addition, not multiplication). We can easily verify that the four group axioms, as well as commutativity, hold (this is not a proof, just an example):

• Closure: The sum of two real numbers is a real number.
• Associativity: For any real numbers a, b, c, (a + b) + c = a + (b + c).
• Identity: 0 is the additive identity. You can add it to any real number without changing it.
• Inverse: For any real number a, -a is its inverse. The sum of the two is 0.
• Commutativity: For any real numbers a, b, a + b = b + a.

The set of real numbers under multiplication is not a group, however, since 0 does not have a multiplicative inverse (there’s no real number you can multiply with 0 to make 1, the multiplicative identity). But you can make this a group by excluding 0.

As we will see shortly, H!P groups consist of both abelian and non-abelian groups.

Hello! Project Groups as Mathematical Groups

Set Composition

There are a number of ways in which to regard H!P groups as groups in the group-theoretic sense. A naïve approach would be to define a set consisting of the members of the group and define some appropriate binary operator over the members. Though this makes some intuitive sense and is relatively simple to start out with, we can easily show that it fails to capture the nature of H!P groups.

A counterexample would be Coconuts Musume。 after Ayaka’s graduation on 2008-04-30. According to the official graduation announcement on Hello! Project’s site, Ayaka, the last remaining member of the group, graduated from Hello! Project as well as Coconuts Musume。 (“２００８年４月３０日（水）をもちまして『ココナッツ娘。』及び『ハロー！プロジェクト』から卒業することになりました。”) This implies that Coconuts Musume。 as a group did not graduate from Hello! Project. After losing its last member, it must remain as a zero-member group.

Unfortunately, there is no such thing as a zero-element group. That would violate the identity property, which states that there exists an identity element. The smallest group is the trivial group, which contains just the identity and nothing else.

And that is the key to understanding how H!P groups work in a group-theoretic sense. All groups must have an identity, and H!P groups are no exception. What Coconuts Musume。 retained after Ayaka’s graduation was its identity: the name “Coconuts Musume。”. The name did not graduate along with Ayaka but remained as the single persisting feature of the group. Here, the term identity is applicable in both its mathematical sense and its sense of being a name or label, an identifier.

So all true H!P groups have an identity, a name that is distinct from the members who constitute the group but is itself an element of the group. Due to the potential for confusion in terminology, I’ll clarify that I’m using member to refer to a human constituent of a group and element to refer to a constituent of the group in the theoretical sense. In this study, I assume that a group’s elements are solely its identity and its members, but that assumption need not hold in possible alternative group-theoretic conceptions of H!P groups, which I will not consider here. Thus the current lineup of Morning Musume。 has ten elements (that is, it’s a group of order 10): nine members and an identity.

One could argue that the identity is just an insignificant auxiliary feature of a group, but I think treating it as an element in its own right does better to characterize H!P’s conception of its groups. The only element of Morning Musume。 that has remained throughout its changing generations is the identity, and it is solely due to the inclusion of the identity that the current lineup can still claim older songs like “LOVE Machine” or “Renai Revolution 21″ as its own, even though none of the current members were around at the time of those releases. The Hello! Project web site acknowledges the importance of the group identity: the official profile of the group has a section devoted to each of its ten elements, and each of the ten elements has its name highlighted in blue. The identity has its own section at the top, where it belongs, since it is the longest lasting and arguably most important element of the group.

Interestingly, H!P uses the term unit (ユニット) to refer to its groups. This term appears, for example, in reference to H!P’s special and shuffle units, and Tsunku♂ uses it frequently. In a mathematical sense, unit can refer to some form of the number 1 (for example, the unit circle, the set of points with a distance of 1 from the origin), which is often the identity element in groups (especially when the group operator is regarded as multiplication). In a way, H!P’s use of the term associates a group with its identity.

Group Operator

Having considered the question of set composition, we now turn to what kinds of binary operators exist in H!P groups. This is a crucial aspect of a group, as the group operator determines the structure of a group, and without it, a group is simply a set, an unordered, unstructured collection of distinct elements. It can also be particularly tricky to discern the existence of a group operator, since it is not always clear what the inherent structure of an H!P group is. That said, we can find examples of group operators in some H!P groups.

Let us turn to the tracklist for Morning Musume。’s album Platinum 9 DISC. Several of the songs are credited to a single member (Mitsui, Michishige, Kamei) or to a subset of the members ({Takahashi, Niigaki, Tanaka}, {Kusumi, Junjun, Linlin}). Especially noteworthy is the use of an interpunct (・) to separate the names. The interpunct is commonly used in mathematics to denote multiplication (a · b), alongside other representations such as a × b, a * b, or simply ab. (My physical copy of the album uses a space to separate the names, which is another common way to denote multiplication.) We can assume that this indicates the application of the group operator to the members in question. As the group operator is associative, we need not specify an order in which pairs should be operated on, but since groups are not in general commutative, the order in which the members are listed may be relevant. (In the next section, I argue that Morning Musume。 is an abelian group, in which case the order of the members is actually not relevant.)

Given the prominence of the “Produced by Tsunku♂” credit on the cover of most of Tsunku♂’s productions, it seems sensible to call the group operator the “Tsunku♂ product” (or maybe “Tsunku♂ produce”) for those groups produced by Tsunku♂.

Groups vs. Non-Groups

We have been discussing H!P groups without really defining what counts as an H!P group and what doesn’t. Here is a good place to distinguish between the two. A common taxonomy of H!P divides it into two categories: “groups” and “soloists”. This classification is largely consistent with our group-theoretic formulation of H!P groups, but there are a few exceptions, which I will now examine more closely. In particular, there are acts commonly classified as “soloists” that are actually groups, and there are acts consisting of more than one member that are not actually groups.

One example of the former is Tsukishima Kirari starring Kusumi Koharu (Morning Musume。). Commonly regarded as a soloist, this is actually a two-element group consisting of the identity “Tsukishima Kirari starring Kusumi Koharu (Morning Musume。)” and the single member Kusumi Koharu. The two elements are distinct from each other: Kusumi is also a member of Morning Musume。, but Tsukishima Kirari isn’t.

Most soloists are not groups. The key criterion is whether or not the soloist’s performing identity is distinct from their own. If so, then the soloist and the identity together form a group; if not, then the soloist is not a group.

On the other hand, we have collections of members that do not constitute groups. One example is the aforementioned “Takahashi Ai · Niigaki Risa · Tanaka Reina”, who are credited for two songs on Platinum 9 DISC. In this case, there is no distinct identity associated with this trio. They are simply individual members appearing together, credited as such. If one applies the group operator to the trio, the result is an element of Morning Musume。, but which one it is depends on the definition of the group operator, a topic we will address in the next section.

In practice, there is not always a clear distinction between groups and non-groups in H!P. Some acts, like Abe Natsumi & Yajima Maimi (°C-ute), have names that are composed of individual members’ names, so it may be equally valid to regard them as individual members appearing together, or as a group with a distinct identity that just happens to resemble the individual members’ names. H!P acts vary a bit in this regard, and some composite names seem more like distinct group identities than others.

One important feature of an identity, however, is its immutability. If you change the name of an identity, it becomes a different identity. So this could be used to determine what counts as a distinct identity. In the case of “Takahashi Ai · Niigaki Risa · Tanaka Reina”, different official representations have used interpuncts and spaces to separate the members’ names, so there is no single correct representation of the name, and hence no distinct identity. On the other hand, Shigepink, Kohappink is an actual group, even if it looks as though it could be a composite of smaller groups Shigepink and Kohappink. The half-stop or comma between the names is invariable, as can be seen in the track listing for 7.5 Fuyu Fuyu Morning Musume。 Mini!. While an interpunct separates Yoshizawa, Niigaki, and Kamei in the track credit above, Shigepink, Kohappink’s credit retains a half-stop.

Group Isomorphisms

Once we can characterize the structure of a group, it is useful to relate it to a more abstract notion of a group. We can say that an H!P group is isomorphic to some abstract group—that the two exhibit the same group structure. In particular, this means that there is a one-to-one correspondence between H!P group elements and elements of the abstract group such that the relationships expressed by the group operator are preserved: if Takahashi, Michishige, and Kusumi correspond to the elements a, b, and c, respectively, in another group, and multiplying Takahashi and Michishige produces Kusumi, then applying the group operator to a and b in the other group should yield c.

One can then apply what is already known about such an abstract group to the H!P group in question, and also relate different H!P groups that are isomorphic to the same abstract group (and hence to each other).

Up to this point, we have not yet conclusively defined the group operator for any group, but for groups with three or fewer elements, we do not need any additional information to determine an isomorphism, as long as we know which element is the identity.

Field Guide???

If this were, say, a field guide to H!P groups in their natural habitats (or should I say group guide, since a field is another kind of algebraic structure), each group could have its own entry with relevant info, statistics, and taxonomic classification. In this post, I will attempt to provide a brief entry for several of the groups, and if any of you are interested, you can try adding entries for the other groups.

The first three entries will include one representative group each of orders 1, 2, and 3; the groups have already been mentioned above.

(Note that the concepts of subgroup and center don’t exactly correspond to their conventional H!P meanings. I’ll discuss these in Part 2.)

Coconuts Musume。 (post-Ayaka era, May 2008 — ???)
Order	1
Identity	ココナッツ娘。
Elements and inverses	Element Inverse ココナッツ娘。 (e) e
Cayley table	× e e e
Nontrivial proper subgroups and cosets	Subgroup (* = normal) Cosets None –
Minimal generating sets	{}
Center	{e}
Cycle graph
Isomorphic to	Trivial group
Finite?	Yes
Simple?	No
Abelian?	Yes
Cyclic?	Yes
Perfect?	Yes
Nilpotent?	Yes
Solvable?	Yes

Tsukishima Kirari starring Kusumi Koharu (Morning Musume。) (2006 — 2009)
Order	2
Identity	月島きらり starring 久住小春(モーニング娘。)
Elements and inverses	Element Inverse 月島きらり starring 久住小春(モーニング娘。) (e) e Kusumi Koharu (K) K
Cayley table	× e K e e K K K e
Nontrivial proper subgroups and cosets	Subgroup (* = normal) Cosets None –
Minimal generating sets	{K}
Center	{e,K}
Cycle graph
Isomorphic to	Cyclic group C2
Finite?	Yes
Simple?	Yes
Abelian?	Yes
Cyclic?	Yes
Perfect?	No
Nilpotent?	Yes
Solvable?	Yes

Shigepink, Kohappink (2006 — ???)
Order	3
Identity	重ピンク、こはっピンク
Elements and inverses	Element Inverse 重ピンク、こはっピンク (e) e Michishige Sayumi (M) K Kusumi Koharu (K) M
Cayley table	× e M K e e M K M M K e K K e M
Nontrivial proper subgroups and cosets	Subgroup (* = normal) Cosets None –
Minimal generating sets	{M},{K}
Center	{e,M,K}
Cycle graph
Isomorphic to	Cyclic group C3
Finite?	Yes
Simple?	Yes
Abelian?	Yes
Cyclic?	Yes
Perfect?	No
Nilpotent?	Yes
Solvable?	Yes

The Cyclic Groups of H!P

It is interesting that Morning Musume。 was founded on a notion of “cycling” through members to establish successive generations, by inducting new members and graduating existing members. Both words in the name also reflect a notion of periodic cycles: mornings are part of the daily cycle, and musume (daughters) are part of a cycle of familial generations. The full stop also adds a notion of periodicity—both in its more common North American name, the period, and its circular shape. All of this suggests that a notion of cyclicity is integral to the concept of Morning Musume。 as a group, and perhaps to others as well, particularly those with the full stop in their names.

Indeed, groups in the mathematical sense can also be cyclic. A cyclic group is one whose elements can be generated by a single element of the group: every element can be produced by successively applying the group operator to the generator. In a multiplicative sense, every element is a power of the generator.

We can then conclude that every H!P group with a circular full stop in its name is a cyclic group. If a group has n members, then it is isomorphic to the cyclic group of order n + 1, which is isomorphic to both Z_n+1, the group of integers under addition modulo n + 1, and the complex (n + 1)st roots of unity, . For example, here are the 6th complex roots of unity, a cyclic group of order 6:

(It is worth noting that the circle group, being an uncountably infinite group, is not a cyclic group, so the pictorial representation of the full stop may not be accurate if perceived as a circle. However, it is possible to generate a dense cyclic subgroup of the circle group by using any irrational number as a generator, so there is a valid cyclic group interpretation.)

The three groups detailed above are all cyclic groups, but as we go higher in order, it is possible for groups not to be cyclic, so it is useful to be able to recognize cyclic structure where it exists.

The presence of the full stop establishes Morning Musume。 as a cyclic group of order 10. However, from just this information alone, we cannot conclusively determine Morning Musume。’s group structure. We know that it is isomorphic to the cyclic group of order 10, but we don’t know which isomorphism is correct. Depending on our choice of isomorphism, we could identify different subsets of the members as generators. (In the previous three groups, all isomorphisms are equivalent: any permutation of the members yields the same group structure; but in Morning Musume。, different permutations of the members can yield different group structures. There are in fact 90720 possible distinct group structures you can produce depending on which of the possible permutations of the nine members you pick—I leave the proof of this fact as an exercise for the reader.)

We therefore look to the standard order of H!P’s groups. Hello! Project generally orders its groups by seniority, and the standard order features prominently in musical releases, concerts, and public appearances. It is not an arbitrary order but an integral feature of each group. Accordingly, we use the standard order to enumerate the elements of an H!P cyclic group: the kth member in a group with n members is mapped to k in Z_n+1 and to in the group of complex (n + 1)st roots of unity.

This yields the following entry for the current lineup of Morning Musume。:

Morning Musume。 (Takahashi era, June 2007 — present)
Order	10
Identity	モーニング娘。
Elements and inverses	Element Inverse モーニング娘。 (e) e Takahashi Ai (TA) L Niigaki Risa (N) J Kamei Eri (KE) MA Michishige Sayumi (MS) KK Tanaka Reina (TR) TR Kusumi Koharu (KK) MS Mitsui Aika (MA) KE Junjun (J) N Linlin (L) TA
Cayley table	× e TA N KE MS TR KK MA J L e e TA N KE MS TR KK MA J L TA TA N KE MS TR KK MA J L e N N KE MS TR KK MA J L e TA KE KE MS TR KK MA J L e TA N MS MS TR KK MA J L e TA N KE TR TR KK MA J L e TA N KE MS KK KK MA J L e TA N KE MS TR MA MA J L e TA N KE MS TR KK J J L e TA N KE MS TR KK MA L L e TA N KE MS TR KK MA J
Nontrivial proper subgroups and cosets	Subgroup (* = normal) Cosets *{e,N,MS,KK,J} {e,N,MS,KK,J} {TA,KE,TR,MA,L} *{e,TR} {e,TR} {TA,KK} {N,MA} {KE,J} {MS,L}
Minimal generating sets	{TA}, {KE}, {MA}, {L}
Center	{e,TA,N,KE,MS,TR,KK,MA,J,L}
Cycle graph
Isomorphic to	Cyclic group C10
Finite?	Yes
Simple?	No
Abelian?	Yes
Cyclic?	Yes
Perfect?	No
Nilpotent?	Yes
Solvable?	Yes

With this group structure, we can evaluate the combinations of group members mentioned earlier (and since all cyclic groups are abelian, the order in which we apply the group operator does not matter):

• Takahashi · Niigaki · Tanaka = 1 + 2 + 5 = 8 = Junjun
• Kusumi · Junjun · Linlin = 6 + 8 + 9 = 23 ≡ 3 (mod 10) = Kamei

Or, equivalently, treating the operation as a product (the “Tsunku♂ product”) of complex numbers:

• Takahashi · Niigaki · Tanaka = = Junjun
• Kusumi · Junjun · Linlin = = Kamei

Of course, this raises newer questions that we have yet to answer, but it seems Kamei is somehow responsible for “Guruguru JUMP”.

If we consider °C-ute a cyclic group as well, interpreting the degree symbol (°) to be analogous to the full stop, we have the following entry (assuming standard order to resolve among the 120 possible distinct group structures):

°C-ute (post-Arihara era, July 2009 — present)
Order	7
Identity	°C-ute
Elements and inverses	Element Inverse °C-ute (e) e Umeda Erika (U) H Yajima Maimi (Y) O Nakajima Saki (N) S Suzuki Airi (S) N Okai Chisato (O) Y Hagiwara Mai (H) U
Cayley table	× e U Y N S O H e e U Y N S O H U U Y N S O H e Y Y N S O H e U N N S O H e U Y S S O H e U Y N O O H e U Y N S H H e U Y N S O
Nontrivial proper subgroups and cosets	Subgroup (* = normal) Cosets None –
Minimal generating sets	{U}, {Y}, {N}, {S}, {O}, {H}
Center	{e,U,Y,N,S,O,H}
Cycle graph
Isomorphic to	Cyclic group C7
Finite?	Yes
Simple?	Yes
Abelian?	Yes
Cyclic?	Yes
Perfect?	No
Nilpotent?	Yes
Solvable?	Yes

Being a cyclic group of prime order, °C-ute is a simple group, as opposed to Morning Musume。, which is not currently a simple group but has been so several times in the past. Prior to losing Arihara, however, °C-ute was also not a simple group, and in addition, had the curious distinction of being a group whose leader (Yajima) was not a generator, since Yajima’s index, 2, is not relatively prime to °C-ute’s group order at the time, 8. In most groups, the leader has the highest seniority and accordingly has an index of 1, which is relatively prime to everything, so it is usually the case that the leader is also a generator.

With that, we end our discussion of cyclic groups in H!P. Not all groups are cyclic, however, and while one valid approach would be to categorize all H!P groups as cyclic (since there is a cyclic group for every positive integer order), the characteristics of some H!P groups suggest that they exhibit different group structures not isomorphic to cyclic groups. And this is where H!P groups start to get very interesting, but as I’ve already written way too much for this post, I’ll end it here and promise to resume next time with a survey of a variety of non-cyclic Hello! Project groups, as well as a possible explanation for the lack of a full stop in Pucchi Moni’s name and the meaning behind the V in Pucchi Moni V.

to be continued…

The release of the new Hello! Project group album Champloo 1 ~Happy Marriage Song Cover Shuu~ includes new tracks by a number of revived H!P groups, most of them with extra bits appended to their names. Due to the name changes, I’m inclined to consider them new groups rather than new generations of old groups—with the exception of Aa!, which retains the same name but has had Tanaka replaced (‽). At the same time, they each have only one album track to their credit, so I would categorize them among other fledgling H!P groups like Shigepink, Kohappink (btw, happy birthday to the both of you! XDDD) and POCKY GIRLS. Most of these fledgling groups have been overlooked by many fans, though fortunately many of them do have their own Japanese Wikipedia pages. These fledgling groups deserve another post, which is in the works…

But this post is about ZYX-α, the only revived group that has undergone a change in number: while the original ZYX had six members, the new ZYX-α has eight, retaining only two of the original members (Tsugunaga and Umeda). I’ve always thought the name “ZYX” was supposed to be a pun on the number six, so it is interesting that ZYX-α would be the group to change number. So does “ZYX-α” somehow indicate eight?

Indeed it does! In physics, α (the Greek letter alpha) is commonly used to denote an alpha particle, which is two protons and two neutrons in a bound state (or a helium nucleus). The name comes from Ernest Rutherford’s classification of radiation into alpha, beta, and gamma types, named after the first three letters of the Greek alphabet. Alpha radiation is the least penetrative of ordinary matter, while beta radiation (electrons) and gamma radiation (photons) are more so.

So “ZYX-α” can be interpreted as indicating ZYX with an alpha particle attached. Given the physics context, we can take “ZYX” to be an abbreviated form of “atomic number six”, since Z is a conventional designation for atomic number, the number of protons in a nucleus. This refers to carbon, the element with atomic number six.

The name “ZYX-α”, then, would refer to a process in which a carbon atom and an alpha particle combine. In other words, this is the alpha process, a nuclear fusion reaction that takes place during stellar nucleosynthesis, in which stars build heavier elements out of lighter ones. The formation of carbon out of alpha particles is known as the triple-alpha process, and once carbon is formed, heavier elements can be produced by additional alpha processes.

In the diagram below, the “ZYX-α” reaction is shown on the right, following a triple-alpha process:

So the “ZYX-α” reaction produces an oxygen nucleus with atomic number eight.

They look just like an oxygen nucleus, don’t they? ^_^

This is my account of going to see Morning Musume。 at Anime Expo in Los Angeles last week, which is a bit delayed due to technical and other difficulties. It was quite an adventure, and there is much more to say than I have room for here, but this should be a nice recap of my experience. I’ve left out parts that I think have been covered comprehensively elsewhere, like details of the MM Q&A panel and the concert. So, without further ado, LET’S STARTING!!! (o_0)

Preparation

When it was announced that Morning Musume。 would be signing autographs, I wanted to make the experience super awesome, so I got some additional merchandise that hopefully I’d be able to get signed while at AX. This included a full-size Papancake poster (Taiwan version):

(The Hello! Hello Kitty toaster is my roomie’s, not mine. ^_^)

This poster hung above our breakfast/dinner table for a while, and it was definitely enjoyable to eat breakfast with Koha (or eat breakfast while being stared at by Koha…).

I also got a Best☆Kirari poster and a Koha mini-poster, and my roomie got a Kirari to Fuyu poster.

After it was announced that we could get a different item signed by each member (for up to nine separate items), I wanted to do just that, since having all of their autographs on one item is kinda boring. Things didn’t exactly turn out as planned, but I was going to have these items signed:

• Mini Moni ja Movie: Okashi na Daibouken! DVD cover — Takahashi
• Souda! We’re ALIVE CD cover — Niigaki
• Hare Ame Nochi Suki ♡ CD cover — Kamei
• Ai no Sono ~Touch My Heart!~ CD cover — Michishige
• FIRST KISS CD cover — Tanaka
• Papancake poster — Kusumi
• Onna ni Sachi Are CD cover — Mitsui
• Shouganai Yume Oibito CD cover — Junjun
• Platinum 9 DISC CD cover — Linlin
• Osaka Koi no Uta CD cover — HANGRY

If it turned out I’d be able to attend more than one autograph session, I’d get something else signed by everyone. Or maybe everyone except Koha, because I had a ton of Koha stuff. ^_^

In addition, since giving gifts was allowed, I decided to give each member one. Being broke, I decided to get MIT t-shirts for Aichan and Sayumi and a plush lobster for Koha. On top of that, each member would get an individual personalized card.

I had a lot to say to Koha, Aichan, and Sayu (who also happen to be my roomie’s favorite members—we like a lot of the same things; it’s like we’re the same person ^_^), so I filled up their cards, but I didn’t know what to say to the others. So rather than putting something generic on all the remaining cards, I came up with some pretty random messages for a few of the other members.

Eri got a pretty terrible (and self-referential) haiku:

It was so bad it deserved another haiku to comment on its atrociousness:

Continuing with the haiku theme, I decided to write Reina some nonsensical Dadaist ones, all having a seasonal theme but otherwise not making a whole lot of sense (though they all have some extratextual resonance of one kind or another) … these actually took a while to write; nonsense isn’t as easy to write as it might seem.

Having run out of creative haikujuices, I offered Aika the Y combinator in PostScript:

Apologies to Risa, Junjun, and Linlin … yours weren’t as spectacular, alas, other than a banana drawing for JunJun. :-o

As for the other three, Aichan got a green MIT t-shirt with a design like this but in black and white:

Her card had this on the back (“MIT ♡ Aichan”):

Inside, I told her how I really liked Q.E.D. Shomei Shuryo especially due to its MIT connections and that I knew of at least five current MIT students coming to AX just to see Morning Musume。 (which is a considerable number given that the school only has about 10,000 students), and several more who are H!P fans.

Due to her professed interest in math, Sayu also got an MIT t-shirt, but one that was more disguised. It had this design (not my photo, and not the shirt I bought):

In her card, I commented that the three letters clued by the formulae also happened to be the first three letters of her family name in Kunreishiki romanization (Mitisige). It’s like Sayu and MIT were made for each other… XD SayuMIT!

The back of Sayu’s card (featuring Euler’s identity):

Koha’s was by far the longest, as I had plenty to say. I told her about how her music was largely responsible for getting me into the H!P fandom, and that the “sine cosine tangent” line from “Hana wo Pu~n” was too awesome. I drew diagrams corresponding to her hand movements in the PV (the angle is in the bottom left, and she outlines the two sides whose ratio is the sine, cosine, or tangent of the angle; note that in Japanese convention, you put the denominator in a ratio first—1/3 is “sanbun no ichi”):

(The above was actually my first ever YouTube video, posted under my old account, back before this blog even existed.)

Also, I told Koha I shared this clip in my electronic music class and passed around my copy of Kirarin☆Land, and that my classmates and the instructor were very impressed (which is true … one classmate even wanted a rip of the album tracks).

In addition to this, I wrote down all eight of the double dactyls I had written to celebrate Koha’s birthday last year on a larger card and rolled it up.

That sums up my preparation, I think. Now to attend my first ever non-classical concert and my first ever anime convention! XD

Day 0 – Airport Awesomeness and Line-waiting Lameness

I flew into Orange County on June 29, and stayed there with my relatives for a week, other than the days of the convention. As this is irrelevant, I’ll jump to Day 0, July 1, when Morning Musume。 arrived at the airport.

I wasn’t originally planning on going to meet them at the airport, due to my lack of transportation and not wanting to inconvenience my relatives. But as June 30 rolled by without a sign of the group, it became clear that they’d definitely arrive on July 1, which was eventually confirmed by a fellow passenger on their flight.

I decided to get myself to the airport by public transportation only, as part of the charm of visiting a new city for me is getting lost in its public transportation, which inevitably happens regardless of how much planning I do. This has happened to me with Boston, New York, San Francisco, and Chicago, so I was eager to add Los Angeles to the list.

It took me 3.5 hours to get to LAX, using two local Orange County buses, an Orange County express bus, two Metra trains, and an airport shuttle. I did in fact get lost, as I failed to request the Harbor Freeway station stop to switch to the Metra Green Line. The bus didn’t announce its stops, and since no one requested that stop, it drove right on by. :-o Eventually, we got to downtown LA, driving right by the convention center, so that was my first glimpse of the place I’d be spending most of the next few days. I got off at 7th street and took the Metra from there, adding about forty-five minutes to my planned trip.

Arriving at the airport with plenty of time to spare, I saw that a small group had already gathered at the waiting area in the Tom Bradley International Terminal:

It was here that I met Bryan and Jen, hosts of the truly epic Hello! Party to come, and Claudia and Ivet, creators of the 3,2,1 BREAKIN’ OUT! OPV that won the Morning Musume。 prize. XDDD

After much waiting, during which several passengers from another flight from Japan did a double take after seeing the huge banner we had up (“Ehh~~??? Morning Musume。‽‽‽”), the members themselves appeared, to much fanfare and chaotic screaming:

We chased after them (from a respectable distance) and saw them get into a white van. Seeing them up close (and getting waves from them ^_^) was so awesome! One fellow passenger on their flight, after asking what all the commotion was and being told they were a popular J-pop group coming to America to perform for the first time, had this to say (regarding Aichan, I think): “She had nice legs.” :-o

I next went to the LA Convention Center with Bryan, Jen, Claudia, and Ivet, and got in line for badges. I was melting and hungry, so I parted ways and went to grab food, which in retrospect was probably not the best decision. Returning to the line a bit later, I saw that it had grown to a ridiculous size. Oh well. Unfortunately they had computer trouble, so I ended up waiting 90 minutes in the blazing sun. Ugh. And after that line came the concert ticket line, which was fortunately mostly in the shade. After four hours of waiting, I finally had badges and concert tickets for myself, my roomie Kyttyee, and our dear friend Aaron the Apathetic Wota (whom I will affectionately call A~ron in this post), who earlier this year had managed to accomplish the amazing feat of unintentionally attending a Johnny’s concert in Japan.

I also met up with CatchFiveBats, maiZe, johpan, Greg, and Paul Thomas.

Unfortunately, this meant I missed the last express bus out of LA, so I had to get a ride from my relatives. :-/

Day 1 – Opening Ceremony, Q&A Panel, and More Waiting in Line

The next day, A~ron and Kyttyee picked me up, and we arrived at the convention center in time for the opening ceremony, details of which you can find elsewhere. Afterward, A~ron and I got in line for the exhibit hall, which was ridiculously long and extended the entire length of the South Hall and a bit further. Once we got inside, shortly after noon, we rushed to the JapanFiles/JPopHouse booths to get autograph tickets. Unfortunately, the lines for the two booths had merged, and the staff were trying to untangle them. As it turned out, I was in the JPopHouse line when I thought I was in the JapanFiles line, and the rearranging resulted in the section of the line I was in getting shuffled to the back of the JapanFiles line. So after thirty minutes of waiting, I was now back at the end of the line. >_<

A~ron, having gotten into what looked like the JPopHouse line, ended up further ahead of me in the JapanFiles line, and was able to get a HANGRY ticket, but no MM ticket. So we managed to get something after all. Later on, we were able to get a second HANGRY ticket from JPopHouse after the panel, as they still had them for a while longer.

We headed to the panel and got there as the one before was letting out. We were able to get seats at the right of the fourth row, and after the panel was over (details of which you can find elsewhere), we got our autograph tickets and followed the directions to the back of Hall K in the Exhibit Hall. There we found hundreds of people running around in circles following each other, quite an amazing thing to experience. After overhearing some more sensible directions from the info booth, we headed upstairs to Room 301 and found the actual autograph line. Unfortunately, there were two lines on opposite sides of the building, and we were told to go to the other line, despite being right by one line of people who had already gathered. I decided to go to the other line while A~ron secured a spot for Kyttyee in the first line. The other line, when I got to it, wasn't much longer, so I stayed there. As it turned out, that was a mistake, as Kyttyee was able to get autographs in like 30 minutes (and a 3-minute conversation with Aika! :-o), while I ended up having the door shut in front of me with about twenty people ahead of me (I was #182).

Oh wells. Try again on Saturday?

We (CFB, Greg, maiZe, joh, and Paul, I think) headed down to the JPopHouse booth and got in line (yet again!) for some H!P merchandise. I bought a photoset and a Platinum 9 Disco poster, since the autograph session had specified one item for all members to sign, and I didn’t have anything I wanted to have signed that had all nine members on it. I also purchased some glowsticks and glow bracelets from JapanFiles. They had run out of all the colored glowsticks, but luckily found they still had a box of the red ones (Koha!!) as I got there. So yayz.

Having not eaten anything since dinner the day before, I was ready for some dinner, which I had at IHOP with CFB. Afterward I chilled for a bit with CFB and friends. We heard that Morning Musume。 was staying at the Westin, and discussed going there, but alas, I never actually went there the whole time I was in LA. :(

Returning to the convention center, exhausted, I napped in the lobby (should have brought a save point to set up next to me XD), and eventually got to the Econolodge motel in Hollywood or somewhere, where I would stay the next two nights with Kyttyee and Sekai no Melody friends Vivi and Kimi. Before catching some Z’s, we sang, danced, and listened to some of my mashups, and fangirled over the Koha posters Kyttyee and I had brought. ^_^ Kohaaaaa~~~!! *squee!*

Day 2 – Concert, HANGRY, and Hello! Party

In the morning, Kyttyee, A~ron, and I found ourselves back at the convention center for some more awesomeness. We met up with our friend “Edwin », who introduced me to Morning Musume。 in the first place, back when I was just getting into J-pop way back in 2007. Unfortunately, his choice of “LOVE Machine” left me disappointed with the group (I stopped watching the PV a third of the way in because I couldn’t stand it), and it wasn’t until several months later that I found that MM had awesome songs I liked.

Anyway, “Edwin » (being “Edwin ») didn’t stick around for the concert (!) and parted ways with us. We made our way over to the main hall, and somewhere along the way, I lost the poster that Kyttyee, Vivi, and I had made for Aichan (saying “MIT ♥ Aichan! We’ll always support you! Ganbatte ne!”) and took pictures of us with in front of MIT’s Great Dome, which we were planning to give to Aichan as a present (sorry! :( ). In addition, I had forgotten my glowsticks and glow bracelets at the hotel, so all I had were the eleven glow bracelets that had broken and which I was wearing. Kyttyee got us some more glowsticks (no red, alas…) and glow necklaces, and while waiting for the concert to start, I hooked them together into an awesome glowstarball that I waved during the concert (though it would have been even more awesome with non-dead glow bracelets forming the star, and with red glowsticks).

I must say, I was disappointed with “LOVE Machine” being performed, but the rest of the concert was pretty cool, other than having “3, 2, 1 BREAKIN’ OUT!” performed way too many times and being too short overall. But the medley and “Sono Bamen de Bibiccha Ikenai jan!” were definitely awesome (I use that word too much…).

Afterward, Kyttyee and I got in line for the HANGRY autograph signing, and since they wouldn’t let us form a line past a certain point, we walked around in circles and grabbed some food, which we ended up eating in line and actually brought into the autograph booth with us (“Hi HANGRY! Have some nachos!”).

ZOMG, HANGRY in person! It was surreal. I gave her the card I had written for her, and asked her to sign Osaka Koi no Uta, which she did, as “HANGRY → Yossie” (in hiragana):

Due to the excitement (which for the second time I just typed as “exciteness” … ???? O_o), I think I forgot to shake her hand. Blargz.

I grabbed dinner at IHOP (the third time I ate there while in LA), and headed to the awesome Hello! Party, where I encountered lots of fellow H!P fans, including Amy, Rocky, Lysa, CK (who I had met earlier in the day), mp122984, and delrey28.

The party was super awesome, and I stayed until the end. Kyttyee and I were planning to karaoke Renai♥Chance!, but we were too far back in the queue and didn’t get to. But I’m still eager to see what mashup karaoke sounds like and what kind of reaction it would get from a large gathering of H!P fans. (Next Hello! Party? XDDD)

Day 3 – Ch-ch-chance!

Waking up at 8:00 was FAIL. Checking online, I found that the line for the morning autograph session was already more than a hundred people long. Nevertheless, we rushed to the convention center and found the line (thereby missing the second half of the TSUNKU♂ panel >_<). Kyttyee and Kimi chilled in the standby line, while I joined the ticketed line with my ticket from Thursday. And to my surprise, the line was shorter than I expected, with me being only #183 in line (one spot higher than on Thursday). Since Thursday's session had started late and ended early and was rather unorganized, I was hoping it'd be speedier this time and get through more than 160 people.

Unfortunately, after waiting 90 minutes and having had my hopes up, I had the door shut in front of me again, with only twelve people in front of me. >_<

Thrice thwarted!

Dejected, I made my way down to the exhibit hall and joined Kyttyee and Vivi for some lunch before going over to the afternoon autograph session in hopes of finding someone who was getting individual items signed and didn't care much for Koha (so I could get my Papancake poster signed instead). As it turned out, they had changed their policy at the last minute to be only one item for all the members (like the other sessions), so this wouldn’t have worked anyway. But at the time I didn’t know that, which worked out in my favor, since after unsuccessfully asking a few people in line, I ran into Claudia and Ivet, who had an extra ticket (thank you so much! you are awesome! XDDDD). Unbelievable joy!

So I got in line (in front of Amy and Mozenator) and had all my individual items out, along with everyone’s gifts. It was hard to hold everything at the same time and I accidentally dropped some of my stuff on the floor (>_<). The line was moving really quickly, compared to the previous lines I was in, and in no time, we were right in front of the booth MM were in, which I had walked past before getting in line, seeing them through the curtains.

At this point, they told us that we could only have one item for all the members, so I was desperately trying to stuff all my individual items into my bag, pull out and unwrap my group poster, and keep from dropping everything on the floor at the same time while walking into the booth—where I found MM in not their expected order (!), so I had to re-sort my gift cards as well. I handed my poster to a staff member (who promptly unrolled it in front of Reina, sitting at the front) and asked if it was ok to give gifts, then handed over my pile of gifts as well. As a result of this chaos, I didn’t get to say anything to Reina other than a quick “arigatou gozaimasu” since she had already finished signing. >__<

Having failed to shake HANGRY’s hand on Friday, I wanted to shake hands with Morning Musume。 this time. Apparently this session was a “no handshakes, no touching, no chitchat” session, unlike the previous two (probably because they needed to rush through 200 autographs—I think only 200 of the announced 300 tickets were actually given out) in a short amount of time. But I didn’t know that—I assumed handshakes were ok because they were fine in the previous sessions. Either they didn’t announce the policy for this session, or I was too busy trying to do too many things at once and didn’t register what they were saying. So I came in expecting to be able to shake hands and say a few reasonably short things to the MM members.

I remembered to ask for a handshake only after Reina was already done signing, so I attempted to shake Linlin’s hand. She didn’t appear to notice (and my brain was too frozen to say anything), so I retracted my hand and moved on. >_< I don't think any of the staff noticed either, because I didn't get any response from them.

Next was Aichan. I managed to say hello to her and tell her I'm an MIT student (showing her my MIT ID card), and that I loved her drama Q.E.D. Shomei Shuryo. She seemed pretty excited and said “arigatou”. ^_^ I was cut off by a staff member saying something (presumably telling me to hurry up), so I thanked her and moved on. XDDD

After Aichan were Risa, Aika, and Eri. Unfortunately, I don’t remember what happened at this point because I got an unexpected “HI!!!!” and enthusiastic waves from both Eri and Aika (at different points in time) while I was still in front of another member. I hope I responded appropriately to their greetings and remembered to thank all three of them for their autographs… :o

Next was Sayu, and I was going to say something mathy, but everything was rushed and confused, so I wasn’t able to say much. I do remember that my poster rolled itself up, and I got a “sorry, sorry!” from Sayu and maybe Koha while I helped them unroll the poster.

Seeing Koha unoccupied (and looking pretty tired, I think), I greeted her with a “KONNICHI PA!!!” and got a “KONNICHI PA!!!” in return, along with an ever-delightful Koha-esque 8D of utter glee (XDDDD). Since I had missed my chance to shake hands with all of the previous members, I offered my hand, and Koha, after a brief moment of hesitation (well, it was a “no handshakes” autograph session after all …), shook it (♥ ^_^ ♥). KOHANDSHAKE!!! XDDD *squee~!*

Unfortunately, I didn’t get to tell her how awesome she was, but hopefully she’ll have a chance to read the card I wrote for her.

I hope I didn’t completely skip over Sayu while doing this (if so, I’m sorry!). D-:

And I don’t even remember what happened with Junjun. O_o

And … curses! I was going to wish Sayu and Koha a happy birthday, and I forgot! >_< gahhhhhhhh … well, I put it in their cards, so I hope they saw them… ^_^

Overall, getting to see Morning Musume。 in person and interact with them was a blast, even if the session was extremely rushed, and the members didn't seem to be enjoying it too much (from other people's reports, apparently several members were told to hurry up and not to interact with the fans, and at least one fan had their hand slapped by a staff member for wanting to get a handshake >_<). I don't recall making eye contact with Reina, Linlin, Risa, Sayu, or Junjun (T_T), but being greeted by Eri and Aika and getting to talk a bit with Aichan and Koha (with a Kohandshake!) was definitely too awesome for words. XDDD

Afterward, there was much ecstatic squeeing as we met up with CFB, CK, joh, maiZe, Rocky, and Paul and looked at what we’d had signed. ^_^

And that is where I’ll end my report, because I left the con later in the evening and didn’t do anything on Sunday. Maybe I should have gone to the airport to see MM off (Koha was wearing glasses and Sayu, Aichan, and Junjun were wearing what appear to be snowboots! I totally approve, having worn glasses and snowboots at the con myself… XDDD), but it was nice just to relax after several days of rushing around, waiting around, and not getting enough sleep.

I’d like to thank Morning Musume。, HANGRY, and TSUNKU♂ for taking the time and effort to come to LA and meet us fans, and the AX/UFA/JapanFiles/JPopHouse staff who made all this possible, even if things could have been done a bit differently. And a bucketful of huge thanks to Bryan and Jen for organizing Hello! Party, and thank you to all H!P fans for your support, whether or not you attended AX; without you, this event wouldn’t have happened. Until next time! ^_^

Just announced on Tsunku♂’s blog: Tanpopo and Pucchi Moni to be revived!

But wait! All is not as simple as it seems!

Quoth Tsunku♂:

新生タンポポに新生プッチモニ。などです。

[Translation (my own attempt; may contain errors): We will have a revived Tanpopo, a revived Pucchi Moni。, and others.]

Note the placement of the full stop (。 ) after “Pucchi Moni” (プッチモニ。) in a sentence-medial position. Clearly, Tsunku♂ is labeling the group Pucchi Moni。 and not Pucchi Moni, as it has always been known:

Indeed, out of all of H!P’s Musume/Moni groups (which also include Morning Musume。, Country Musume。, Coconuts Musume。, Mini Moni。, and Eco Moni。), Pucchi Moni has been the sole group whose name fails to feature a final full-stop flourish. While the significance of this distinguishing mark (or lack thereof) is a matter for further debate, one thing is for certain: H!P’s fastidiousness toward preserving proper punctuation (however idiosyncratic and unorthodox it may be), extending even to romanizations of group names (as can be seen, for example, in every official printing of the name Morning Musume。—always a Japanese-style full stop, never a Latin one (.)—in sharp contrast to the omitting of the full stop by most fans who use the romanized form), reflects a continued commitment to a program of punctuational purity.

In light of this, it is improbable that Tsunku♂’s shocking use of the full stop in this latest post arose out of sloppiness. No, this is nothing short of intentional, subversive, unadulterated blasphemy!

TSUNKU♂! WHY ARE YOU PUTTING A STOP TO PUCCHI MONI WHEN YOU ARE TRYING TO RESTART IT?

Ah, but perhaps Tsunku♂ is trying to tell us something here…. Maybe this is some kind of hidden message! Maybe Tsunku♂ is being held captive by mysterious entities that want to revive Pucchi Moni for their own nefarious purposes! Or maybe this is just a glimpse of some enormous revolutionary Hello! Project restructuring currently in the works and under wraps! Maybe Tsunku♂ is planning to add even more crazy symbols to names in places where they don’t belong! Or maybe … maybe …

Oh, the possibilities are endless!

[EDIT: Apparently Tsunku♂ has now removed the stop from both instances of "Pucchi Moni" in the linked post. Very suspicious.]

The Image Color: A Hello! Project Puzzle puzzle contest has ended! The following people submitted correct answers while the contest was in progress:

• maiZe, on 2009-02-20 at 05:25 UTC.
• Mars, on 2009-02-21 at 05:54 UTC.

Congratulations! maiZe will be getting a 20 USD gift certificate to YesAsia.com soon.

Here is a complete solution.

WHO WANTS A COLONOSCOPY?

It’s been too long since my last H!P puzzle … here’s a new one! I’ll keep the rules short:

• The contest ends 2009 February 23 at 23:59 UTC, or 96 hours after I receive the first correct submission, whichever comes later. This is to keep the contest fun and motivating for solvers even if someone’s already found the answer.
• The first person to submit a correct answer wins a 20 USD gift certificate to YesAsia.com.
• You can collaborate with whoever you want, but there’s only one prize.
• Submit answers by leaving a comment with your name and e-mail address; I’ve set the comments on moderated mode so your comment won’t be displayed publicly.
• You may submit more than once, but please keep your guesses to a minimum.
• If you include your e-mail address (or if I have other ways of contacting you), I’ll let you know whether or not your submission is correct.
• The answer is a word or short phrase having to do with Hello! Project.
• Knowledge of Japanese language and/or writing systems is not necessary to solve this puzzle.
• I may put up hints later.
• Good luck!

EDIT: I have reformatted the puzzle to display three separate grids instead of only two. It’s the same puzzle, just represented in a way that may reduce conflicting information.

Hints: (highlight to read)

• Title:
  • Yes, the title actually does mean something.
    • The term refers to a concept in H!P.

    • The °C-ute song has nothing to do with this puzzle.
• Flavortext:
  • If you don’t get what “pyon pyon fumu fumu yeah yeah” has to do with this puzzle, forget about it. It’s not essential.
• Grids:
  • The three grids roughly correspond to three stages of solving this puzzle. You can just focus on the first grid if you’re just starting the puzzle.
    • That said, information discovered in later stages may be helpful in figuring out parts of earlier stages.
  • The grids line up with each other.
• Grid 1:
  • What do the letters spell?
    • It’s an abbreviation of sorts.
      • “PPL” = “people”.
  • Do the icons remind you of anything?
    • If not, try watching Hello! Project PVs and looking at CD covers. The more recent the better.
      • The more colorful the better.
  • Put the icons in groups.
    • Don’t group them by color.

    • Put the icons in H!P groups.
    • Think about the colors in each group.
    • Each color in a group represents a distinct person.
• Grid 2:
  • Combine this grid with Grid 1 to get additional information.
  • Three letters have already been given to you. You need to find more.
  • Each letter corresponds to a square and can be deduced from the information in that square.
    • Names are important.

    • No one in H!P has a given name that is ten letters long.
    • Look at surnames and consider how you can get letters out of them.
  • If you have the right letters, patterns should emerge.
    • You should search for words.

    • This is a word search.
  • There are words you can make out of the letters, and there are words you can make out of the letters you can’t make words out of.
    • The words you can make out of the letters you can’t make words out of form a clue that describes a state of Grid 3 that you should attain.

    • After finding all the words, read what’s left over.
• Grid 3:
  • What are the dimensions of the grid?
  • The grid is a board.
  • What’s special about the squares with circles?
    • Do the letters represent anything?

    • The letters stand for different types of pieces.
  • The circles are pieces.
    • The pieces can move according to strict rules.

    • What color are the pieces?
  • What board game could this be?

Image Color
A Hello! Project Puzzle

pyon pyon

fumu fumu

yeah yeah

WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

No, I’m afraid the similarly abbreviated quantum electrodynamics has yet to make an appearance on this show. But this episode does touch on static electricity, and since it glosses over the details, I’ll try to elucidate them here.

As explained in the episode, this creepy doll is responsible for death of the unsavory character lying lifeless at its feet.

This feat is accomplished when the dolls’ eyes (intentionally designed by museum’s curator for this lethal purpose) collected enough static electricity to deliver a jolting shock to the character, interfering with his pacemaker and giving him a heart attack.

Oh, the agony … and the super-cheap special effects.

OK, I’m not going to comment on how practically feasible this whole gimmick is. The concept is flaky, the explanation is sloppy, and the acting seems a bit inconsistent with the explanation, but I’ll try to explain what I think is going on anyway—on a theoretical level.

As an explanation, MIT genius kid Touma Sou says the eyes are Leyden jars, which the show tries to spectacularize by displaying a faux-historical shot of a manuscript page depicting the eye as a Leyden jar, surrounded by informative-looking scientific text …

… until you realize what it actually says:

[...] Christ in Garmany has discoveed static to be
[...] to be accumulated with such apperatus the there
[...] qgo though it is assuumed that it was a wire
[...] straightens statice electricicity, and it was devised
[...] petel van Musschenbrooke peter van Masschenbroek
[...] the Nethelands in 1746. There is a name of
[...] Leyden jar” becaus of haping þeen inovented
[...] the Leydun university in the Netherlands.
[...] was widely used for experimental use of
[...]lectricity, and it was used to experiment
[...] B. Franklin’s kite deep-frying.

Insulator

Is a generic name of the
material that doesn’t pass electy
or heat easily. It is said to
conductor (electric condactor) that
conducts electricity easily the noncond
(..referrig…singing). Moreover, the
insulator shows the dielectric substance.

The electric resistance of silver

Ag of the atomic symbol originates
in name “argentum” in Latin. Both of
the reflectivity of the electric condutivity
and the visible light ray are
the maximum in the metal
it was called “silvery white”
from the thing with
high reflectivity of
light in Japanese.

Glass

No- quality solid where
glass transition phenomenon is
[...]

LOL at the “Christ in Garmany”? And I’m not really sure what Ben Franklin’s culinary prowess with respect to the deep frying of kites has to do with anything, so let’s move on.

Here’s the diagram again, with the three labeled surfaces explicitly marked A, B, and C. I’ve also labeled a screenshot of one of the eyes. Note that the diagram labels the “Insulator” and the “Glass” separately, apparently confusing the generic concept of an insulator with an actual insulating material. In this case, the two surfaces are the same thing, and I’ve labeled both of them C. A is the exterior conducting surface, apparently made of silver, and B is the interior conducting surface.

As the show explains, people walking with rubber-soled shoes across the wool carpet pick up negative charge due to the triboelectric effect. In appropriate conditions (cold, dry air), there’s no conducting path for this excess charge to dissipate from the body, so it remains. For someone with negative charge to experience an electric shock, the negatively-charged electrons on their body have to travel to a region of more positive charge. The electric potential between the two regions is greatest when the respective charges are furthest apart, so the best conditions for such a shock would arise when someone is touching a positively-charged surface.

My best guess for how this positive charge gets there is that it is induced by rubbing the (silk?) cleaning cloth against the porcelain surface of the doll’s face. Since silk is higher up on the triboelectric series than unglazed porcelain, a positive charge collects on the cloth. If the cloth then comes in contact with the pupil of the eyeball, its positive charge is transferred to the interior, as both pupil and interior comprise conducting surface B, and the close proximity of conducting surfaces B and A induces a negative charge on A. This works if A is properly grounded, which I’ll assume is the case.

The attraction between A and B allows B to collect a large amount of positive charge, enough to result in a big spark, though this is limited by the capacitance of the eyeball, which is probably not that high due to the apparently limited surface area of the two conducting sheets.

So when negatively charged unsavory character touches positively charged pupil, electrons discharge and enter the eyeball, causing said unsavory character to experience a huge shock, flail dramatically, topple to the ground, and expire. C’est la vie.

That’s my take on it. The show’s explanation, as far as I can tell, mentions negative charge on both bodies without discussing positive charge at all, which is necessary for the discharge to occur. In addition, Sou’s rubbing of the doll with a cloth clearly misses the pupil, which leaves the viewer wondering how that could have effectively transferred any positive charge into the eyeball at all.

I’m afraid that on a technical level, this episode leaves me much more disappointed than Episode 1, unless I totally missed what’s going on (and please enlighten me if that’s the case!). Oh, well. Let’s hope there’s more awesomeness to come….

EDIT: Did you think I was going to let you go without some physics equations? Of course not!

Let’s figure out how much energy is transferred when someone gets a shock from touching the doll’s eyeball. Since we’re not given all the information, let’s make educated guesses. Suppose the outer conducting shell has a radius of 2.5 cm, and it’s separated from the inner conducting shell by an insulating layer of 1 mm thickness. The diagram says it’s made of glass, so let’s give it a dielectric constant of 5. Furthermore, we’ll idealize the whole thing as a spherical capacitor, so as not to worry about those bothersome non-symmetric electric fields.

We can now compute the capacitance of the eyeball, replacing the glass with vacuum temporarily. If there is a charge of Q on the inner shell, the electric field at radius r outside between the two shells is

.

Integrating this over r between the two shells, we can compute the electric potential difference between them:

Since capacitance is charge divided by voltage, the capacitance is

The energy of a discharge depends on the charge Q transferred:

Assume a typical charge of 1 microcoulomb is transferred. Then, plugging in our assumed values (r₁ = 2.4 cm, r₂ = 2.5 cm, Q = 1e-6 J, ε = 5ε₀), we have about 0.001498 joules, which is the amount of energy needed to move a one-kilogram block a height of 0.1527 millimeters.

I’ve been anticipating the new detective drama Q.E.D. starring Takahashi Ai and Nakamura Aoi since it looked like it would involve a lot of awesome math, and now that the first episode is out, we can see that there is indeed a lot of awesome math! And correct, non-trivial math to boot!

Hello! Project member + stereotypical MIT nerd = WIN!

Meet Touma Sou (Nakamura), stereotypical MIT math nerd! Who, having graduated from MIT at a very early age, is for some reason reattending high school … I’m sure this will be explained in future episodes …

Mizuhara Kana (Takahashi) does an impression of MIT! D-:

Of course I am highly amused that “Massachusetts Institute of Technology” appears on the screen at the same time as Takahashi, who should definitely drop by for a visit sometime. I can show you around this place, Aichan, if you’re ever in the area.

Since “Q.E.D.” is traditionally written at the end of a math proof, this first episode of course features a math proof. As the show’s primary purpose is entertainment and not educational, it doesn’t focus on the details, but the details nevertheless are there and they’re intellectually stimulating, so I’ll cover that aspect here.

To begin with, the teacher presents the following proof in class:

[If this is hard to read, it and the below proofs are available as a PDF.]

Let’s go through the details. The statement being proved is given in line (1). This is giving a closed-form expression for the sum of the product of three consecutive integers over a range. In line (2), the summed expression is expanded as a cubic polynomial: . This lets us use linearity of summation to split the sum into three parts (3). Then using summation identities, each of the three sums is expressed in closed form (4). In line (5), we factor out , and in line (6), we group like terms of the remaining expression to produce a quadratic polynomial: . This polynomial can be factored into , leaving the desired expression (7).

Of course, for Sou this is not nearly intellectually challenging enough. (The subtitles say that the teacher’s derivation is erroneous, but it’s correct as far as I can tell; if this is what Sou actually says, maybe the producers just wanted to avoid getting into details about the distinction between generalizing a theorem and offering a better proof of the same theorem.) Sou realizes that this fact can be generalized, establishing a more powerful theorem. Instead of having a product of just three consecutive integers , why not have arbitrarily many? Sou generalizes the theorem to apply to a product of consecutive integers: . And indeed, there is a closed-form expression for this as well:

Note that this reduces to the previous theorem if you substitute .

It’s a fun exercise to try to prove this theorem, which I encourage you to do if you’re interested. I did so, and I’ll present my own proof later on. As it turns out, Sou’s proof is simpler than mine, but due to camera angles and low resolution, it’s pretty hard to actually see what the proof is.

After much squinting and deducing, I finally figured it out:

This is pretty short and makes some jumps that may not be intuitive, so I’ll go through the details:

In line (9), each term of the summation is multiplied by a ratio equal to 1, which does not change the value of the expression. You can easily do the math and see that the numerator is equal to . In line (10), the denominator of this ratio is pulled out of the summation, since it’s a constant factor, and the two terms in the numerator are multiplied with the product , using the distributive law. Line (11) is probably the biggest jump in this proof; it’s using a telescoping sum, reducing a sum of terms by canceling out intermediate pairs. If you plug in for , you get , and likewise, for , you get Notice that the terms cancel when you add these together. If you keep doing this all the way to , all the intermediate pairs cancel out, and you’re left with just two terms: . The second term vanishes, so the overall expression is reduced to (11), which completes the proof.

The following is my own proof, which is a bit lengthier and uses binomial coefficients, along with Pascal’s second identity. Let’s first prove Pascal’s second identity, stated here as a lemma:

We use the principle of induction, which is showing that a statement holds for some base case (here ) and showing that if the statement holds for some , then it has to hold for as well. Putting these parts together, you prove that the statement holds for all integers greater than or equal to the base case.

Lines (13) through (17) prove the base case. This makes use of the definition of the binomial coefficient , which for is equal to 1.

The inductive step is proved in lines (18) through (25). We assume the statement holds for and show that it also holds for . In line (18), we split the sum of terms into two parts. The first part is identical to the sum of terms, which we can replace with by the inductive assumption (19). In line (20), we replace the binomial coefficients with their equivalent factorial ratios, and in line (21), we factor and out of the two denominators, respectively. In lines (22) and (23), we factor out common factors of both terms, and add together the remaining fractions. Combining the two parts, we get (24), which can be written as (25), thus proving the lemma.

My alternate proof is as follows:

In line (26), we rewrite the product of consecutive integers as a ratio of factorials. We then reindex the summation (27) for convenience, so that starts at 0. Next we multiply the entire expression by and divide it by the same amount (28). Each term of the summation can be expressed in binomial form (29). Using Pascal’s second identity, we can rewrite the sum as (30). Turning this back into a ratio of factorials, we get (31). We can cancel out a factor, leaving (32). Finally, expressing this ratio of factorials as a product of consecutive integers, we have (33), as desired.

(I’d stick a “Q.E.D.” at the end of that proof, but no one uses that anymore. The square box is sufficient.)

I’m definitely looking forward to more math and awesomeness in the upcoming episodes….

[The above proofs are available as a PDF.]

EDIT: Upon rewatching the episode, I discovered that Sou has excellent taste in reading material:

Douglas R. Hofstadter’s Gödel, Escher, Bach: an Eternal Golden Braid. I approve.

EDIT 2: Agggh!! What was I thinking? There’s a really easy inductive proof that I would have seen had I inducted on the right variable the first time. >_<

It’s, uh, self-explanatory.

[ko̞ no̞ mi t̠͡ɕi]

Having done The Best of H!P: 2008, I’m now stepping back a year. 2007, after all, was the year I was introduced to H!P…

So here goes…

The Categories.

• Best Album — Best compilation of recordings in an album or mini-album format.
• Best Single — Best release in the single format. All tracks are taken into consideration.
• Best Recording — Best overall individual track.
• Best Composition — Most musically meritorious track.
• Best Lyrics — Most lyrically laudable track.
• Best Instrumental Performance — Most instrumentally impressive track.
• Best Vocal Performance — Most vocally virtuoso track.
• Best PV — Best music/promotional video.

The Contenders.

BEST ALBUM

1. Kirarin☆Land — Tsukishima Kirari starring Kusumi Koharu (Morning Musume.)
2. 4th Ai no Nanchara Shisuu — Berryz Koubou
3. ☆☆☆ — Tsukishima Kirari starring Kusumi Koharu (Morning Musume.)
4. 1st GAM ~Amai Yuuwaku~ — GAM

BEST SINGLE

1. Kokuhaku no Funsui Hiroba — Berryz Koubou
2. Hana wo Pu~n / Futari wa NS — Kira☆Pika
3. Chance! — Tsukishima Kirari starring Kusumi Koharu (Morning Musume.)
4. Happy☆彡 — Tsukishima Kirari starring Kusumi Koharu (Morning Musume.)

BEST RECORDING

1. “Seishun Oodoori” — Berryz Koubou
2. “Ai no Suki Suki Shisuu Joushouchuu” — Berryz Koubou
3. “Ichaicha Summer” — GAM
4. “Haru Beautiful Everyday” — Morning Musume.

BEST COMPOSITION

1. “VERY BEAUTY” — Berryz Koubou [composed by Tsunku; arranged by Suzuki Shunsuke]
2. “Tsuugaku Vector ☂” — °C-ute [composed by Tsunku; arranged by Hirata Shouichirou]
3. “Hand made CITY” — Morning Musume. [composed by Tsunku; arranged by Suzuki Daichi Hideyuki]
4. “Chance!” — Tsukishima Kirari starring Kusumi Koharu (Morning Musume.) [composed by Oda Tetsurou; arranged by Iehara Masaki]

BEST LYRICS

1. “Hana wo Pu~n” — Kira☆Pika [lyrics by YumYum]
2. “Oyaji no Kokoro ni Tomotta Chiisa na Hi ~Duet Version~” — Satoda Mai with Fujioka Fujimaki [lyrics by Fujioka Fujimaki]
3. “Tsuugaku Vector ☂” — °C-ute [lyrics by Tsunku]
4. “Futari wa NS” — Kira☆Pika [lyrics by YumYum]

BEST INSTRUMENTAL PERFORMANCE

1. “Sakura→Nyuugakushiki” — Berryz Koubou
2. “⋯H” — GAM
3. “Shiawase Clover” — Tsukishima Kirari starring Kusumi Koharu (Morning Musume.)
4. “Atsui Tamashii” — GAM

BEST VOCAL PERFORMANCE

1. “Egao” — Matsuura Aya
2. “Ai Ai Daiko” — Maeda Yuki
3. “Ai no Fune” — GAM
4. “LIFE” — Goto Maki

BEST PV

1. “Chance!” — Tsukishima Kirari starring Kusumi Koharu (Morning Musume.)
2. “Kokuhaku no Funsui Hiroba” — Berryz Koubou
3. “Honto no Jibun” — Buono!
4. “Bokura ga Ikiru MY ASIA” — Morning Musume. Tanjou 10nen Kinentai

This is a semi-response to Amy’s recent poll. It’s not a complete response because I have nothing to say for a bunch of these categories, and furthermore, I think it’s much more useful to have a few top picks in each category than just one winner. Probably the main reason why modern-day politics has been in such a slump is that too few jurisdictions have any form of preferential voting in place. Voting for just a single candidate (for example, plurality voting) is a terrible, terrible system. But I digress…

Anyway, in the preferentialist spirit, I will have four top-ranked contenders in each of the following eight categories:

• Best Album — Best compilation of recordings in an album or mini-album format.
• Best Single — Best release in the single format. All tracks are taken into consideration.
• Best Recording — Best overall individual track.
• Best Composition — Most musically meritorious track.
• Best Lyrics — Most lyrically laudable track.
• Best Instrumental Performance — Most instrumentally impressive track.
• Best Vocal Performance — Most vocally virtuoso track.
• Best PV — Best music/promotional video.

So without further ado…

BEST ALBUM

1. Café Buono! — Buono!
2. Kirari to Fuyu — Tsukishima Kirari starring Kusumi Koharu (Morning Musume.)
3. 5 (FIVE) — Berryz Koubou
4. COVER YOU — Morning Musume.

BEST SINGLE

1. Minna no Tamago — Shugo Chara Egg!
2. Renai♥Rider — Buono!
3. Papancake — Tsukishima Kirari starring Kusumi Koharu (Morning Musume.)
4. FOREVER LOVE — °C-ute

BEST RECORDING

1. “Love Chick” — Tsukishima Kirari starring Kusumi Koharu (Morning Musume.)
2. “Hoshi no Hitsujitachi” — Buono!
3. “Sono Bamen de Bibiccha Ikenai jan!” — Morning Musume.
4. “Minna no Tamago” — Shugo Chara Egg!

BEST COMPOSITION

1. “Oh! Tomodachi” — Tsukishima Kirari starring Kusumi Koharu (Morning Musume.) [composed and arranged by BOUNCEBACK]
2. “Yume wo Hitotsubu ~Berryz Kamen Ending Theme~” — Berryz Koubou [composed by Tsunku; arranged by Takahashi Yuichi]
3. “Tan Tan Taan!” — MilkyWay [composed and arranged by Maeyamada Kenichi]
4. “Hajimari no Uta” — Shugo Chara Egg! [composed by Izumi Noritaka; arranged by Nakano Sadahiro]

BEST LYRICS

1. “Internet Cupid” — Buono! [lyrics by Masanori Ouchi]
2. “16sai no Koi Nante” — Abe Natsumi & Yajima Maimi (°C-ute) [lyrics by KAN]
3. “Papancake” — Tsukishima Kirari starring Kusumi Koharu (Morning Musume.) [lyrics by 2°C]
4. “Last Forever” — Buono! [lyrics by Kawakami Natsuki]

BEST INSTRUMENTAL PERFORMANCE

1. “Janakya Mottainai!” — Buono!
2. “Saigo no Natsuyasumi” — v-u-den
3. “BE” — Berryz Koubou
4. “Kioku no Meiro” — High-King

BEST VOCAL PERFORMANCE

1. “Johnny e no Dengen” — Morning Musume.
2. “Hanaichimonme” — Matsuura Aya
3. “Rottara Rottara” — Buono!
4. “ROMANCE” — Morning Musume.

BEST PV

1. “Renai♥Rider” — Buono!
2. “Dschinghis Khan Tartar Mix (β Ver.)” — Dschinghis Khan × Berryz Koubou
3. “Resonant Blue (Another Ver.)” — Morning Musume.
4. “Gachinko de Ikou!” — Buono!

Countdown! The Top 100 Hello! Project PVs

So … we’ve been at the halfway point for a while now. My original plan was to do this every year, and that certainly doesn’t look feasible at this point. Though getting through half the countdown in one year is some progress, I guess. The countdown covered only PVs up to and including 2007, so all the fantastic videos from 2008 weren’t included. And seeing as how this will continue on into 2009 without honoring the 2008 PVs, here’s a list of the 2008 H!P PVs that I thought were noteworthy, in alphabetical order:

• Abe Natsumi & Yajima Maimi (°C-ute) – 16sai no Koi Nante (1213 Ver.)
• Berryz Koubou – Dschinghis Khan
• Berryz Koubou – MADAYADE
• Dschinghis Khan × Berryz Koubou – Dschinghis Khan Tartar Mix (β Ver.)
• Buono! – Gachinko de Ikou!
• Buono! – Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!
• Buono! – Renai♥Rider
• Buono! – Rottara Rottara
• °C-ute – FOREVER LOVE
• °C-ute – Edo no Temari Uta II
• MilkyWay – Anataboshi
• MilkyWay – Tan Tan Taan!
• Morning Musume。 – Resonant Blue (Another Ver.)
• Shugo Chara Egg! – Minna no Tamago
• Tsukishima Kirari starring Kusumi Koharu (Morning Musume。) – Papancake

Sorry I don’t have anything more exciting. This countdown should (hopefully) pick up again in January.

This has nothing to do with Hello! Project whatsoever, but …

Yum yum! (It looks much better in real life … the color is a bit off there … ) Ingredients include veggie bacon, cheese, asparagus spears, and blueberries. Tasty!

I call it Chef K’s [ <6973> <506F7374536372697074> <626F6D6221> <6461> ] { cvn cvx } forall 4 2 roll

Sorry, couldn’t resist sticking a PostScript pun in there…

(Hint: execute the code in GhostScript or your preferred PostScript interpreter, and do a pstack …)

This is a follow-up to my previous post, THIS IS NOT A REVIEW. I was inspired by a comment from Julia to translate the examples Airi and Maimi wrote (in the fictional universe depicted in my last post) into Turing, from the original Scheme.

The original snippets of code were:

(printing “LOVE” an infinite number of times using named recursion in Scheme)

(define (FOREVER x)
  (display x) (FOREVER x))

(FOREVER "LOVE ")

(the Y combinator in Scheme)

(lambda (f)
  ((lambda (x) (f (lambda (y) ((x x) y))))
   (lambda (x) (f (lambda (y) ((x x) y))))))

(printing “LOVE” an infinite number of times using the Y combinator to do anonymous recursion in Scheme)

(((lambda (f)
   ((lambda (x) (f (lambda (y) ((x x) y))))
    (lambda (x) (f (lambda (y) ((x x) y))))))
  (lambda (p) (lambda (s) (display s) (p s))))
 "LOVE ")

Of course, the latter two examples rely on unnamed functions (lambdas), which, as it turns out, appear not to be supported at all in Turing. As a result, I could only duplicate the first example:

(printing “LOVE” an infinite number of times using named recursion in Turing)

procedure forever(x : string)
   put x ..
   forever(x)
end forever

forever("LOVE ")

Feeling inspired, I decided to try this out in Python. Unfortunately, while lambdas are supported in Python, they are purely functional, meaning it’s impossible to get side effects out of the recursive process like printing “LOVE” every time. You’d have to generate an infinitely long string of these and then print it out:

(printing “LOVE” an infinite number of times using named recursion in Python)

def FOREVER(x):
   print x,
   FOREVER(x)

FOREVER("LOVE")

(the Y combinator in Python)

(lambda f: \
  (lambda x: f(lambda y: (x(x))(y))) \
  (lambda x: f(lambda y: (x(x))(y))))

(printing “LOVE” an infinite number of times using the Y combinator to do anonymous recursion in Python, theoretically)

(lambda f: \
   (lambda x: f(lambda y: (x(x))(y))) \
   (lambda x: f(lambda y: (x(x))(y)))) \
 (lambda p: (lambda s:(s + p(s)))) \
('LOVE ')

Of course, you won’t be able to see anything from running that last one. But you can use the Y combinator to print out “LOVE” a finite number of times:

(printing “LOVE” 17 times using the Y combinator to do anonymous recursion in Python)

(lambda f: \
   (lambda x: f(lambda y: (x(x))(y))) \
   (lambda x: f(lambda y: (x(x))(y)))) \
 (lambda p: (lambda s: (s==0 and ' ') or ('LOVE ' + p(s-1)))) \
(17)

Feeling even more inspired, I decided to tackle the task of translating this into PostScript, which is totally one of the awesomest programming languages ever, even though many people who are familiar with it don’t realize its programming complexity and dismiss it as a simple page description language … ahem. (It’s the language behind PS files, the precursor to PDF.)

And behold, it worked!

(printing “LOVE” an infinite number of times using named recursion in PostScript)

/FOREVER { dup print FOREVER } def
(LOVE ) FOREVER

(the Y combinator in PostScript)

{ [ exch
   { [ exch
         { dup cvx exec exec } aload pop
     ] cvx } aload pop
      8 -1 roll
     { cvx exec } aload pop ]
  dup cvx exec }

(printing “LOVE” an infinite number of times using the Y combinator to do anonymous recursion in PostScript)

(LOVE )
{ [ exch
   { dup 5 string cvs print
      [ exch } aload pop 8 -1 roll
         [ exch cvx { exec } aload pop ] cvx
         { aload pop ] cvx exec } aload pop ] cvx } cvlit
{ [ exch
   { [ exch
      { dup cvx exec exec } aload pop ] cvx } aload pop
    8 -1 roll { cvx exec } aload pop ]
    dup cvx exec }
exec cvx exec

And just for fun, here’s computing the factorial of 6 using the Y combinator:

6
{ [ exch { dup 0 eq exch { 1 } exch [ exch } aload pop
         9 -1 roll [ exch { dup 1 sub } aload pop
         4 -1 roll cvx { exec } aload pop { mul } aload pop ] cvx
      { aload pop ] cvx ifelse } aload pop ] cvx } cvlit
{ [ exch { [ exch
      { dup cvx exec exec } aload pop ] cvx } aload pop
      8 -1 roll {cvx exec } aload pop ] dup cvx exec }
exec cvx exec

PostScript rocks.

CUZ I DONT DO REVIEWS YO

this is a DIALOGUE on the nature of computation brought to you by °C-ute or actually just THE AIRI AND MAIMI SHOW cuz everybody else is like wut im a computer n00b i dont even know how to type zomgwtf but AIRI AND MAIMI are like SUPER FREAKING GENIUSES or something and they totally know everything about computers and programming and data structures and algorithms and complexity theory and all that

because contrary to popular belief °C-ute is actually short for

°COMPUTE

thats right THATS A DASH your supposed to fill in the missing letters duh

(betcha didnt know that huh?)

WUT

oh hay look its °C-ute in the middle of their STRUCTURE AND INTERPRETATION OF COMPUTER PROGRAMS class and today their going over HIGHER ORDER PROCEDURES and how to call a procedure using another procedure as an argument or even reflexively using the procedure itself

so erika and mai are like WUUUHHHHHH???? but airi and maimi totally know wuts going on cuz their like SUPER FREAKING GENIUSES and their already jumping ahead to next weeks topic…..

and airi goes hey check this out zomglolololololol

… one level of embedding …

….. TWO levels of embedding …..

……. FOUR LEVELS OF EMBEDDING ……..

……… EIGHT LEVELS OF EMBEDDING IS THAT AMAZING OR WUT OMG???!!! ………

XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

and maimis like WUT

and airis like RECURSION B****ES!!!

but maimis like STFU N00B that terminates after only eight iterations

betcha cant do an infinite loop wut

so airi sez OH YEAH WELL CHECK THIS OUT

(define (FOREVER x)
  (display x) (FOREVER x))
(FOREVER "LOVE ")

SEE IT PRINTS OUT LOVE AND RECURSIVELY CALLS ITSELF SO IT CAN PRINT OUT LOVE AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN

its like LOVE …….. FOREVER!!!!!

wut

FOREVER LOVE

get it? GET IT??!!!

but maimis like SRSLY zomgrofl THAT IS SO TRIVIAL IT MAKES THE TRIVIAL GROUP LOOK NONCOMMUTATIVE lol

NONCOMMUTATIVE?????!!!!!!!

I OWN TSUUGAKU VECTOR☂

I AM THE LIVING EMBODIMENT OF THE INNER PRODUCT OF ANY TWO VECTORS IN A HILBERT SPACE

cuz thats like CONJUGATE SYMMETRY

which when restricted to a real scalar field means that under the inner product any two vectors COMMUTE

FOR REAL

oh yeah well thats nothing compared to the Y COMBINATOR

(lambda (f)
  ((lambda (x) (f (lambda (y) ((x x) y))))
   (lambda (x) (f (lambda (y) ((x x) y))))))

your procedure is so weak it needs a name zomglol

WITH THE Y COMBINATOR YOU CAN DO ANONYMOUS RECURSION ZOMGAWESOME

(((lambda (f)
   ((lambda (x) (f (lambda (y) ((x x) y))))
    (lambda (x) (f (lambda (y) ((x x) y))))))
  (lambda (p) (lambda (s) (display s) (p s))))
 "LOVE ")

LOOK NO NAMES WUT

………………… O__________________O ……………………

THATS RIGHT THE Y COMBINATOR IS SHORT FOR YAJIMA COMBINATOR!!!!!!

o rly?

YA RLY LAMBDA CALCULUS FTW

well lambda calculus is ok but….

KAPPA CALCULUS IS THE BEST!!!!!! =(^w^)=

and maimis like *facepalm*

but then saki butts in and is like

i like SKI calculus cuz its like SAKI but like without the A

and airi and maimi are like LOLWUT

NEXT TIME ON THE AIRI AND MAIMI SHOW FEATURING °C-UTE

WTFAWESOME BATTLE OF THE BRAINZ LIKE ZOMG

SUPER FREAKING GENIUS IDOLS DISCUSS COMBINATORY LOGIC AND FORMAL GRAMMARS AND THE CHOMSKY HIERARCHY AND THE COMPUTATIONAL EQUIVALENCE OF RECURSION AND TURING MACHINES!!!!!!

and °C-ute perform AN INTERPRETIVE DANCE interpreting THE RUNTIME EXECUTION OF A SCHEME INTERPRETER INTERPRETING ITS OWN SOURCE CODE

LOLWUT kthxbai <33333333 XD

… I’ve just been busy, sorry.

Busy with what, you ask?

Well … I’ve been living it up (?) as a graduate teaching assistant for a course in mathematics for computer science, taken mostly by second-year undergrads, with a total enrollment of around ~180. As part of my duties, I get to teach two sections that meet twice a week and also contribute to writing problems for assignments and quizzes. What fun!

Actually, the making-up-awesome-problems part really is fun! I managed to whip together an entire problem set on the topic of sums and asymptotic relations in which all the problems are Hello! Project-themed.

Alas, after discussion with the other staff members, we decided that while the problems were awesome and hilarious (maybe more so for me than for them), they were a bit on the challenging side, not straightforward enough, and touched on a few topics we weren’t really covering (Problem 4d in particular “would kill the students”). So it got scratched, and a more boring replacement was released instead.

But all is not lost! We’ve decided to release this problem set as optional, not-for-credit “challenge problems”, and you can try them out here:

Hello! Project Challenge Problems (PDF)

If you wish, you can send your solutions to kirarinsnow@mit.edu, and I’ll respond with comments.

Enjoy!

My computer died last week. The AC adapter connector thingy broke, and thus my poor laptop was unable to power up.

But now it’s alive again! Rather disemboweled, but fully functional nevertheless. I think I removed like 60 screws or something.

So yeah! I can get back to doing that remix album now…. Yayz! ~^.^~

And while I have everything dismantled, I might as well put the keys in their proper locations… wheeeee….

Countdown! The Top 100 Hello! Project PVs

At this rate, we’ll get to the #1 video in the year 2023 or so…

55.
Coconuts Musume。 – Watashi mo “I LOVE YOU” (2000)
Tsunku / Tsunku / Kohno Shin / Sony Music Entertainment

This homage to the early 1990s era of pop music (oh, the colors! the sheer campiness!) displays a scene of chaos unfolding inside and outside a stationary school bus. But is this a scheduled rest stop or an emergency stop, forced by some sudden mechanical failure? Who knows? In any case, it seems the locals have gotten involved, and as the scene boils to the brink of catastrophe in the midst of mindless terpsichorean fervor, uninhibited proselytizing, and violent confrontation with a local law enforcement official, a strange order emerges, transcending the entropic nature of its beginnings and uniting our cast in a grand opus of unsurpassed proportions.

Either that or it’s trying to make a point about religious institutions, given the prominent “FUNDAMENTAL BAPTIST ACADEMY” adorning the side of the bus, but I can’t figure out exactly what point it’s trying to make.

54.
Mini Moni。 – Mini Moni。 Telephone! Rin Rin Rin (2001)
Tsunku / Tsunku / Konishi Takao / zetima

A scathing critique of the dangers of technology in the modern age, this video explores the minds of today’s youth, hopelessly brainwashed by an abundance of gadgets that absorb their complete attention, rendering their perception of the physical world an amorphous, distorted landscape in which the appearance of their very surroundings has transformed into an artificial façade constructed of colorful clay. Any links our protagonists may once have had to the outside world, to family and friends, have since been severed, isolating them in a fantasy universe in which they are increasingly drawn into a narcissistic maelstrom by the irresistible allure of the cellular phone and the camera. The depths to which they have descended are uncovered by the shocking revelation of how our heroes pass their time: opening a cell phone to find imaginary miniature versions of themselves dancing across the buttons and screaming for attention. Indeed, the exponential duplication of their images strewn across a cosmic rainbow road may appear to us to exhibit merely a fanciful artistic gesture, but to the individuals represented, this irrational zombie army is but another facet of their everyday mindless existence, a pervasive hallucination that knows no bounds.

53.
Matsuura Aya – Kiseki no Kaori Dance. (2004)
Tsunku / Tsunku / Suzuki Daichi Hideyuki / zetima

Matsuura takes on physics and—

I was tempted to say wins, but really … no one wins against physics, not even Ayaya.

But not to worry! This video admirably tackles relativity theory and in particular, illustrates the relativistic Doppler effect. In lieu of a full relativistic analysis, I’ll just say that for an observer moving at speeds close to the speed of light, the surrounding universe undergoes distortion: straight lines become curved, the apparent relative positions of objects change, and the frequency of light from different directions gets shifted. And here we see the effect in action, as the camera captures the spatial distortion and color shift that arise as Matsuura approaches the speed of light.

However, I must point out a possible error in the depiction. I’m not entirely sure about the details, but it does seem that the visual field (when looking at Matsuura head-on) is contracted toward the center, rather than expanded, and that the shift is in the direction of higher frequencies: a blueshift rather than a redshift. If this is the case (and it’s hard to tell for certain just from watching the video), the distortion is happening in the wrong direction. The view of everything behind Matsuura should be expanded and redshifted (see the animated diagram in the linked article above).

Nevertheless, one must commend the creators of this video for making an effort to depict the effects of relativity, even if the representation is not quite correct. It’s better to acknowledge the existence of relativity than to dismiss it as baloney. (Indeed, the notion of relativity was a revolutionary one and took a while to be accepted by the physics community. Einstein’s 1921 Nobel Prize, awarded 16 years after Einstein introduced special relativity, was explicitly given for his discovery of the photoelectric effect and not for special and general relativity.)

Either that or Matsuura is flying backward … which would be pretty impressive.

For a better idea of how things get distorted, I recommend riding the Relativistic Rollercoaster.

52.
Odoru♥11 – Shiawase Kyouryuu Ondo (2002)
Tsunku / Tsunku / SHO-1 / zetima

This genre-bending, reality-defying post-structuralist extravaganza transcends any notion of a self-consistent narrative universe and plunges the viewer into a meta-performance of meta-spectacular meta-proportions. It’s a video of a theatrical performance delivered by a live cast for the benefit of a cartoon audience, interspersed with animated special effects that intrude upon the physical reality of the set … and some of these actually remain on the set, rather inexplicably. Add to that the conspicuous black attire of the four crew members holding up the moving set pieces (why yes, black is perfect camouflage for the backdrop’s profusion of color!), and you have a structural schism that challenges the mind. It breaks the fourth wall. It breaks the fifth wall! It erects a sixth wall out of cheap cardboard and punches a hole in it. At the heart of this epic drama is a trinity of unanswered questions: Who are the actors? Who is the audience? And why is the audience watching this performance at all?

51.
Mini Moni。 – Mini Moni。 Kazoe Uta ~Ofuro Version~ (2003)
Tsunku / Tsunku / Takahashi Yuichi / zetima

Counting to 20 has never before been so exciting. And certainly, bathing is a perfect opportunity to rehearse the order of these precious integers. You might even ponder the set-theoretic construction of the natural numbers while you’re at it. Mmm…. Peano axioms …

And indeed, why stop at 20? The natural numbers are infinite! Countably infinite, even. There is no positive integer you won’t eventually reach if you start at 1 and count in increments of 1. (Counting the real numbers, on the other hand ….)

And is Tsuji doing the “Renai Revolution 21″ dance?

50.5.
Mini Moni。 – Mini Moni。 Kazoe Uta ~Date Version~ (2003)
Tsunku / Tsunku / Takahashi Yuichi / zetima

You know, these two were originally on the Countdown! as separate entries. But somewhere along the way, I discovered I had left out a few noteworthy videos, and having already started the Countdown!, I realized I had more videos than there were slots to hold them. Luckily, I also realized that a couple of videos were more highly ranked than they deserved to be, and so I quietly removed them from the list. Unfortunately, however, this still left me with one video too many, and alas, the pigeonhole principle must force two videos into the same slot. That, or make a cheap attempt to resort to zero-based indexing after the fact. So given the similarity between the two versions of “Mini Moni。 Kazoe Uta”, I decided to collapse the two videos into one, kind of. I like the Date Version a little more, so I’ll rank it a bit higher. :)

I think Kago steals the show in this one. Hilarity.

What, you say? 50.5 is not an integer?

It’s no longer Koha’s b-day in my time zone, but it’s still Koha-day in most time zones west of here, so …

MORE DOUBLE DACTYLS FOR KOHA! YAYZ ^_^

Seriously, the double dactyl is the most demented form of poetry ever … hence, perfect for Koha. ^_^

(see Part 1)

Futari wa NS

Futari hitori,
Hikaru, Kirari
Team up to try to dis-
Prove Gauss’s rule.

Finding no monopole,
Sadly they figure that
Ferromagnetically
Poles must be dual.

Ramutara

Ramutaarattattan!
World-weary Koha-chan
Cuts ‘cross Kamchatka to
Kolkata … more!

Finished with traveling,
Koha now looks for a
Nongeographical
Place to explore.

Sansan GOGO

DNA → RNA:
Misinformed MilkyWay
Err in directing us
Which way to go.

5-prime to 3-prime’s how
Nucleotides link up
Ribonucleically
All in a row.

Olala*

Olala olala,
Mademoiselle Kusumi
A commencé à chan-
Ter en français.

Cependant, tout le monde
Trouvait son accès de
« Francocacophonie »
Vraiment mauvais.

* A rough English translation that loses all of the delicious rhyming tonguetwistery of the French:

Olala olala,
Miss Kusumi
Started to sing
In French.

However, all the world
Found her outburst of
“Francocacophonie”
Truly bad.

Yayz! I wanted to do 16 double dactyls in honor of Koha’s turning 16, but since double dactyls do double duty, so to speak, 8 should be enough. ^.^

I’ll probably have more double dactyls to post in the near future, though….