As I’ve mentioned elsewhere, while I love compiling rankings of works released by Hello! Project, I refuse to give a subjective ranking of individual people, for various reasons. But Paul Thomas’s new poll is just so shiny I couldn’t resist…

So here is my **objective** ranking of Morning Musume, Berryz Koubou, and ºC-ute, using criteria that (I assume) no fan actually uses, consciously or not, to determine their favorites, though the near-perfect (except Kamei) spectral order of MoMusu is rather interesting and makes me suspect someone on the inside might be using a similar criterion to assign costume colors…

Sure, it might be a coincidence, but really, the probability of at least *n – 1* out of *n* elements randomly appearing in a specified order is .* In MoMusu’s case, *n = 9*, so the odds are about 1 in 5582.77. Hmm…

* I leave the proof of this formula as an exercise for the reader.

**Morning Musume**, sorted by “morningness”

Given that “Morning” appears in the group’s name, I decided to determine objectively how much “morningness” a member could have. To do this, I considered the time of sunrise in Tokyo (35° 41′ N, 139° 46′ E) on each member’s birthday, since the earlier the sun rises, the more morning there is, right? Of course, this favors members with summer births.

**Sorting Algorithm**:

- For each member
*i*, let*x*be the time of sunrise (in UTC) in Tokyo (35° 41′ N, 139° 46′ E) on_{i}*i*‘s birthday. - Sort members by
*x*from earliest to latest.

**Results**:

**Details**:

*Michishige Sayumi*-> 1989-07-13 -> 19:39:22.*Kusumi Koharu*-> 1992-07-15 -> 19:41:13.*Takahashi Ai*-> 1986-09-14 -> 20:25:06.*Niigaki Risa*-> 1988-10-20 -> 20:54:07.*Lin Lin*-> 1991-03-11 -> 21:01:49.*Tanaka Reina*-> 1989-11-11 -> 21:13:47.*Jun Jun*-> 1988-02-11 -> 21:35:43.*Kamei Eri*-> 1988-12-23 -> 21:49:34.*Mitsui Aika*-> 1993-01-12 -> 21:53:01.

**Berryz Koubou**, sorted by “beriizuness”

Given that the official pronunciation of “Berryz” is “beriizu” (ベリーズ), which is also the Japanese adaptation of “Belize”, I decided to determine objectively how much of Belize a member occupies, figuratively speaking. However, the fact that Belize only has 6 districts while there are 7 members of Berryz Koubou presents some difficulty. Rather arbitrarily, I decided to map the total stroke count of a member’s name in kanji to district numbers of Belize, mod 6, and compare the respective areas of those districts. The resulting ties are then resolved by kana lexicographical order.

**Sorting Algorithm**:

- For each member
*i*:- Let
*x*be the number of strokes in_{i}*i*‘s name in kanji. - Let
*y*be the district of Belize whose index (when sorted in alphabetical order and counting from one) is congruent to_{i}*x*(mod 6)._{i} - Let
*z*be the total land area, in km_{i}^{2}, of*y*._{i}

- Let
- Sort members by
*z*from largest to smallest. - Break ties using standard kana lexicographical order.

**Results**:

**Details**:

*Shimizu Saki*-> 清水佐紀 -> 11 + 4 + 7 + 9 = 31 -> 1 -> Belize -> 4204. (Tie break:*Shimizu*precedes*Sudou*and*Tsugunaga*)*Sudou Maasa*-> 須藤茉麻 -> 12 + 18 + 8 + 11 = 49 -> 1 -> Belize -> 4204. (Tie break:*Sudou*precedes*Tsugunaga*.)*Tsugunaga Momoko*-> 嗣永桃子 -> 13 + 5 + 10 + 3 = 31 -> 1 -> Belize -> 4204.*Kumai Yurina*-> 熊井友理奈 -> 14 + 4 + 4 + 11 + 8 = 41 -> 5 -> Stann Creek -> 2176. (Tie break:*Kumai*precedes*Natsuyaki*.)*Natsuyaki Miyabi*-> 夏焼雅 -> 10 + 12 + 13 = 35 -> 5 -> Stann Creek -> 2176.*Sugaya Risako*-> 菅谷梨沙子 -> 11 + 7 + 11 + 7 + 3 = 39 -> 3 -> Corozal -> 1860. (Tie break:*Sugaya*precedes*Tokunaga*.)*Tokunaga Chinami*-> 徳永千奈美 -> 14 + 5 + 3 + 8 + 9 = 39 -> 3 -> Corozal -> 1860.

**°C-ute**, sorted by temperature

This one’s a no-brainer, almost. When a group’s name starts with the symbol for Celsius degrees, one has to order its members by temperature, of course. How to determine a member’s temperature, however, is something of a challenge. Rather arbitrarily, I decided to take the first and last letters of each member’s two names, as written in official romaji, and map those to symbols for chemical elements, making appropriate adjustments for those letter combinations that aren’t legal. I then took the melting point of each member’s two elements and averaged them, then sorted all members by average melting point, from highest to lowest.

**Sorting Algorithm**:

- For each member
*i*:- Let
*a*be a digraph of the first and last letters of_{i}*i*‘s family name in romaji. - Let
*b*be a digraph of the first and last letters of_{i}*i*‘s personal name in romaji. - If
*a*is a legal chemical element symbol, let_{i}*c*be the corresponding element. Otherwise, let_{i}*c*be the element whose symbol immediately follows_{i}*a*in the alphabetical sorting of the union of_{i}*a*and all element symbols with one or two letters._{i} - If
*b*is a legal chemical element symbol, let_{i}*d*be the corresponding element. Otherwise, let_{i}*d*be the element whose symbol immediately follows_{i}*b*in the alphabetical sorting of the union of_{i}*b*and all element symbols with one or two letters._{i} - Let
*e*be_{i}*c*‘s melting point, in Celsius._{i} - Let
*f*be_{i}*d*‘s melting point, in Celsius._{i} - Let
*g*be the average of_{i}*e*and_{i}*f*._{i}

- Let
- Sort members by
*g*in descending order.

**Results**:

**Details**:

*Okai Chisato*-> Oi / Co -> Os / Co -> osmium / cobalt -> 3033 / 1495 -> 2264.*Umeda Erika*-> Ua / Ea -> V / Er -> vanadium / erbium -> 1910 / 1529 -> 1719.5.*Suzuki Airi*-> Si / Ai -> Si / Al -> silicon / aluminium -> 1420 / 660.32 -> 1040.16.*Yajima Maimi*-> Ya / Mi -> Yb / Mn -> ytterbium / manganese -> 824 / 1246 -> 1035.*Nakajima Saki*-> Na / Si -> Na / Si -> sodium / silicon -> 97.72 / 1420 -> 758.86.*Hagiwara Mai*-> Ha / Mi -> He / Mn -> helium / manganese -> -272.2 / 1246 -> 486.9.*Arihara Kanna*-> Aa / Ka -> Ac / Kr -> actinium / krypton -> 1050 / -157.36 -> 446.32.

**Conclusions:**

This whole exercise was utterly pointless.

I’ve contaminated Paul’s poll with artificial results.

And why yes, I do believe I’ve just proposed an objective measure of °C-ute’s hotness.

## 10 comments

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2008-02-13 at 23:33

maiZePointless? Maybe… But I found it absolutely fascinating! :)

Though, I did get confused with the calculation of yi for Berryz. >_< Didn’t understand the whole “congruent to xi mod 6” part. I’m a science geek myself (majored in biochemistry) but I’m afraid the furthest I went in math was 1st year calc and 2nd year basic stats.

2008-02-13 at 23:51

KawaiirrheaCongruence in this case just means taking the remainder of both sides when dividing by a modulus (in this case, 6). So 39 is congruent to 3 (mod 6), since both 39 and 3 have a remainder of 3 when one divides by 6. It’s just an easy way to map from a large set of integer values to a smaller one.

And yay for science geeks! :-D

2008-02-14 at 00:32

ChrisAfter all is said than done, your measurements are no more or less accurate than anyone elses. I was more fascinated with your details, so kudos

2008-02-14 at 03:38

hapichanO___O Wow… XD College math did me nothing apparently LOL Fascinating. I loved the post xD

2008-02-14 at 04:39

VeeThis was…sexy.

SEXY.

YOU WIN.

2008-02-14 at 05:33

RaidThis was O_O

2008-02-14 at 16:34

SammpI’s love you!!!

Happy Valentine’s Day!

2008-02-15 at 08:15

KawaiirrheafromRadicalpatriot, posted to “Mini Moni Manifesto” as the result of a bug (probably):E=mc2 … but quantum theory would dictate C-ute+Berryz=unified field theory squared.

http://www.radicalpatriot.vox.com

2008-02-15 at 10:27

Kawaiirrhea>_< euh? *confused*

2008-02-19 at 12:37

KawaiirrheafromChris, posted to “Mini Moni Manifesto” as the result of a bug (probably):I just realized I may have subconsciously been ranking Berryz by their “Beriizuness” as my rankings for them is almost identical to yours…who knew?